Making new friends not so easy as an adult

Guy Dossi

I feel confident in saying that I’m starting to understand how this whole being an adult thing works. I know how to buy a house, I’ve yet to get divorced, and I’m only one or two more guitar purchases away from having to admit I have a problem. So yeah, I’m doing OK.

However, there’s one thing that I just can’t figure out. I’m sure I’m not the only adult who has run into this issue and I don’t know if there’s a real answer. But really, how does one make new friends as an adult?

At this point in my life, I’d have trouble filling a MySpace top-8 with friends. And that’s not because I’m a loser, but the older you get, the friends you once had move on and you only have two or three who you can actually call your friend. I’m currently in that boat.

I’ve got the lovely Mrs. Dossi, but she’s my wife. So, while she’s my best friend, it’s just not the same as having a buddy. I’ve got my cat, but I’m fairly confident that she’s planning a way to murder me, and I think she’s getting close, although I can’t prove it. I’ve got a couple of other friends sprinkled here and there, but that’s it. So again, how does an adult make new friends? As a kid, making friends was so simple. It could be as easy as, “Wait, you like the Giants and soda? Me, too!” And, boom, you’d have a new friend. I can’t do that as an adult. I can’t bump into a dude in the grocery store who has a Giants shirt on and a six-pack of Pepsi and ask if he’d like to hang out.

It was almost easier to find a wife than a new friend. At least with finding a wife, she could understand what I was looking for and it’s not overly creepy, although I toed that line a number of times in my dating history. With a lady, I could say, “I think you are beautiful and I’d love just a moment of your company.” And if I was told, “no” – which happened more often than not – at least I tried. But with a dude, I don’t know what to say or how to even broach the situation.

When trying to make friends as an adult, there are so many more factors in play. You’ve got marital status. Let’s face it, married men and single men are no longer the same creature. Then there’s the children factor. If one party has kids, forget about it. Their lives, and rightfully so, revolve around their children and actually getting to hang out without kids is a once- or twice-a-year event that will end around 9:45 p.m.

And then there’s the other things like political views, religious beliefs, sense of humor, whether or not they drink, and by the time all that gets sorted out, it’s easier to just stay at home and watch reruns of “Seinfeld.”

There are plenty of times that I wish I could call up a buddy who lived a few minutes away and we could have a cigar and talk about life. But for now, that isn’t a possibility. Until that happens, I guess I’ll just continue to hang out with the cat. I’m OK with that, however, she isn’t overly thrilled.


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